i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
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I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
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You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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