Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
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Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
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YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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