kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize