Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
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