By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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