Umm I'm too high to move.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize