Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize