it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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