so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize