There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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