So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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