Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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