I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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