I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize