Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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