i don't plan on having that self control this summer
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize