Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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