I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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