i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
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... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
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We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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