; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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