Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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