Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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