Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Randomize
Follow @tfln