no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
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It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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