I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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