I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
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I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
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I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
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