I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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