I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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