halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize