One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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