She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just found a bag of teeth...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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