singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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