Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
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We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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