i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize