Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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