Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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