she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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