she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
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She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
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Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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