i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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