woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
it hurts more in the daytime
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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