we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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