areolas are like halos for boobs.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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