I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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