i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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