you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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