Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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