1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
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Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
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I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I need water and some morals
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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