im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize