He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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