the day after is always just damage control
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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